Forget Xmas. What About the War Against Halloween?

Seriously.

I'm sick of seeing and hearing about places - primarily churches - having Fall Harvest parties or Neewollah Celebrations (Halloween spelled backwards). The day is called Halloween. It means All Hallow's Evening or Eve. November 1 is All Hallow's Day so October 31 is its Eve. Like Christmas Eve. Halloween is not some "special" spooky magic/cursed word like Voldemort in "Harry Potter" (which the fundamentalists don't read for reasons similar to those used to not celebrate Halloween).

Aside: Trunk or Treat celebrations are a little different as their stated purpose is to give kids a safe place to celebrate Halloween - even though it's more for the parents' benefit who believe the urban legends about razors in candy.

Yes, a lot of the traditions come from ancient Celtic/Pagan times, but again, a lot of Christmas ones do as well - mistletoe, Yule logs, Christmas trees, gift-giving, etc. And just like there's no Santa Claus, there's no such thing as magic, ghosts, monsters, etc. so letting your daughter dress up like a witch for one day out of the year is not going to start her down a dark path into the non-existent occult. If anything, the stultifying, over-bearing religious way you raise her will instead cause her to rebel and become a goth and/or emo, and the worst incantations she does will just be bad poetry.

And I hope you're subjected to it. Now back on track...

I had a high-schooler come up to me while I was futzing about my garage. His church was in the area canvassing the neighborhood with fliers for their upcoming Harvest Party. I wasn't in a good mood.

Me: So, why don' you call it a Halloween party?
Him: (Mishearing me and proudly stating) That's right, sir! We would *never* call it Halloween!
Me: No, you're not listening. Why DON'T you call it Halloween? That's its name.
Him: (Temporarily silenced)
Me: It means All Hallow's Eve. November 1 is All Hallow's Day so October 31 is its eve. Looking at your flier, I see you're going to have treats, games, costume contests, a hay ride, a bonfire, etc. All elements of a Halloween party. Why can't you call it that?
Him: (Tries to say something)
Me: You know what? I don't know why I'm asking because I really don't want to hear what idiotic religious reason your stupid pastor has for celebrating Halloween but not calling it that. Here, take your flier.

I have a DVD called Halloween Balloons - a balloon twisting tutorial that I watched recently all the way through. Before, I had set it on fast forward through the whole thing just to see what all the different sculptures were, slowing it down to normal when I saw one that I wanted to learn.

Well, on this viewing, I learned that "Halloween Balloons," was the brainchild of a well-known gospel twister in Texas as he was the last one on the DVD. I say last one because it was filled with other "famous" twisters showing off and teaching their stuff at his request. When it came time for him to show one - a pretty cool Frankenstein - he launched into a harangue about how he's not going to show a Halloween balloon since he doesn't celebrate it, but he's going to show a Fall Festival one.

So, his balloon is the only "non-Halloween" one on a DVD called, "Halloween Balloons," and ten other twisters all referred to his asking them to do something for his Halloween DVD in their openings... As long as he's constant about it, I guess.

My rant against the War Against Halloween ends here by my telling you to kvetch to yourself about seeing Christmas decorations up in the store in October.