Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Discoveryland! JIHAD!

So, Jacinta came to visit me because I won 2 free tickets to go see the musical, "Seven Brides for Seven Brothers," at a place called Discoveryland, which is about 10 miles outside of Tulsa. (They alternate between that and the musical, "Oklahoma" depending on the day) It's an interesting place, sprawling out over several acres. It kind of appealed to the part of me that likes the cheesy roadside attractions you see on a trip, but this actually requires a time commitment - no just walking in to see the biggest prairie dog in Kansas, realizing it's a statue, and walking out again. Oh, no!

First, you have to go to the chowhouse where you get gastronomical distress... I mean, a genuine cowboy meal of a ribeye steak sandwich, potato salad, corn, beans, and tea with your choice of sugar or Splenda... Just like in the old West.

After that, you can walk over to the teepee.

Here Jacinta demonstrates the proper way to walk over to the teepee.

And you can even go inside.

Here we see Native American "Drinks from Styrofoam" in her tribe's traditional home. "Drinks from Styrofoam's" personal beverage conveyance choices were one of the reasons that Indian from the commercials in the 1970s was always crying.

Whoops! There he is.

After all that kind of fun, it's time to walk through the old West.

Why looky there... Old West style buildings of the Ooooold West. We were given a short history lesson about the Pony Express. Next time, I'll come dressed as an old-tyme telegraph operator and make fun of the rider that comes up and delivers the mail. I think, "Drinks from Styrofoam," was nearby.

And there he is again! I hope, "Drinks from Styrofoam" is happy with herself.

Ye olde country store of the Ooooold West. I bought a Seven Brides for Seven Brothers t-shirt but felt ripped off. It only had five brothers and five brides on it, and one of the brides had a mustache.

Why, look... right down the dirt covered street was an Indian Trading Post. It's like they want you to spend money there. They wouldn't accept pelts as trade.

This was where the musical was staged - an outdoor amphitheater with Mother Nature herself as the backdrop. Made me want to shoot six-shooters into the ground to lift me into the air while I screamed, "Yee-ha!"

That reminds me: the pre-show warm-up had announcements, where one of the actors asked people from the audience to stand up and yell, "Yee-ha!" when the state they were from was announced. It sounded more like we were told to yell, "JIHAD!" which Jacinta and I both felt like doing after they sang, "Proud to be an American."

What better way to emasculate the image of a cowboy than to gussy him up and make him sing and dance? Well, maybe make a movie called, "Brokeback Mountain."

And after the play was over, I was trampled by the crowd as they swarmed the stage to lynch the performers (a year-end tradition).


There he is again! This time he's crying because he was moved to tears by the night's performance.

JIHAD!